The End Is Near

So, I wasn't able to sleep early last night because I had an almost 3 hour nap yesterday and I ended chatting on phone with my long lost friend. We talked about so many things, most especially her 'bitterness with the ex of ex's'. It's pretty funny to think, that we haven't seen each other for about 7 years. She was really a very good friend, someone I consider special.

Before I slept, I set the alarm at around 12am, I have to make small sacrifices and I don't mind following few advices. When it alarmed, I said my prayer and went to sleep again. It's almost 8am, but before I go to our venue today, I'll just go and visit the church. I'm not that religious and honestly speaking, I rarely hear mass, I swear. The reason why I'm going to church, just now, is because I need some peace, a peaceful and quiet place, or should I say a solemn place to say my prayer. I have faith in Him and I do believe in myself. I'm not going extreme, but I'm doing my part. When I was still studying, I've been very good. I played my part well, I've been going to class everyday and I rarely absent myself. I study and give myself a decent grade. I do my cases, assignments and almost everything. I don't even skip classes nor cheat on my mom about school payments. In short, I've been a very good and obedient daughter. And so just now, I feel like, I deserve to pass, or maybe I'm just bargaining here. But I really, really want to pass, and so just to boost my self-esteem and morale, I always tell myself, that I will pass.

I know, people around me keeps on telling me that 'it will be ok', 'you will make it', but whatever it is, only one thing can give me comfort and remove my anxiety and even traces of it, the license itself and nothing else.

Slacked Off

I'm not feeling good the whole day, I can't think well, I could only feel my hearbeat, pounding. I woke up early and played a bit, then I went down to eat some bread. I cooked some fish and eggplant and after lunch I started reading some. I felt tired and slept. I'm just not in my best mood. So, right now, I made my blog to kill some time.

After this hectic schedule I'll do some revisions and make it more pesonal. Ahh... I'd like to end this agony now.

Frozen

I'm feeling too damn scared to think of anything right now. Just too scared of what migh happen, 9 more days and counting... It's like everyday, something sharp is stabbing my chest. I couldn't believe that almost 2 months had passed and we stayed in the 4th floor of that building. Everyday, we would sit and wait for the reviewer to come and start the class. And now that the comprehensive review is finished, we are welcoming the final coaching for it. Everdaym I would pray and ask God to give me this vocation. True, as it may sound too boring, common and already a cliche. I don't care about any single comment they have in mind. I am true to myself that this is the path I am going to take. It's very hard, but I know, I do have what it takes to be one.

I am emotionally and mentally tired, but I have to endure it for the time being and after the agony of waiting, I'll have to wholeheartedly accept the future that lies ahead. No matter what the result would be.